


Brett, you IDIOT!

by Daryl_Alenko



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Back Alleys Are NOT For Conversations Foggy, Brett PoV, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Brett, Stop Flirting in Costume Matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 11:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daryl_Alenko/pseuds/Daryl_Alenko
Summary: Brett keeps seeing Foggy Nelson slinking around back alleys with The Devil of Hell's Kitchen. This is NOT okay!Basically, this is fluffy crack in which Brett thinks Foggy is cheating on Matt with a masked vigilante.





	Brett, you IDIOT!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm about half way through season 2 in prep for season 3 and I needed some fluff. So I wrote it. Enjoy!
> 
> Oh! And I am totally ignoring Bretts wedding ring and having him as a bachelor in this. Becuse of plot reasons. And crack.

* * *

Brett Mahoney would like to say that it all started a few weeks ago, but that would be a blatant lie. Because it truly started several -decades- ago. 

The day four year old Franklin Nelson came stumbling in the front door, hand clinging in his Mama's skirts, his life had changed. Because suddenly, out of the blue, he was put in charge of watching this annoying, loud -thing- while their moms socialized. 

Well, he planned on showing his Mama just how much he was -not- on board with that! He had immediately lead the boy into his room, herded him into the closet and closed the door.

He had not been prepared for the soft, plaintive sniffles and whimpers that followed after him. He had only made it three steps past his bedroom before he ran back, wrenched his closet door open, and scooped the kid out. 

His first look at wide, tear stained doe eyes and flaring nostrils, he regretted his actions. The kid then whispered " 'm sorry... pwease like me." He instantly swore to Jesus, Mary, God, and even the Holy Ghost that he would get his ass to church on Sunday because obviously he was going straight to hell. 

He may or may not have even offered the entirety of his saved allowance if God would forgive me. He's a little fuzzy on that part of the memory. 

What's important, however, is the fact that on that exact day, Brett Mahoney became the de facto protector of one Franklin 'Foggy' Nelson. He wasn't happy about, didn't like it ... but it was what it was. He never imagined that he would -still- be protecting that fool well into adulthood. But again, it is what it is.

* * *

Corrupt cops will forever be a hot button issue for Brett. He's good at his job but will never be properly promoted because he will NEVER play ball with slimy, skeevy corrupt bastards. Not. Happening. 

Least of all because he's pretty sure his Mom would promptly hunt him down and beat him into the next century. Bess Mahoney is a force to be reckoned with. She also seems to prefer Foggy to her own -son-, so yeah.

Anyways.

He leaves work dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, his uniform in the gym bag slung over his shoulder. He's tired and sore, also still seething from the newest rumor of corruption on the force. Later, he will blame this all on his impaired mood.

He manages to take a wrong turn, stepping into an alley that in no way leads to home. Which puts him in the prime spot to see something ridiculous, horrible .... and actually, more than a little comical.

Foggy has the Devil of Hell's Kitchen backed against an alley wall. Jamming a finger in the vigilante's chest.

And the masked man that has taken down criminals, evaded police arrest, and run over rooftops like they were gently rolling hills, looks sufficiently -cowed- by FOGGY! His head is downcast and his shoulders a little hunched. From here, Brett is even pretty sure that he can see a -pout- on the modern day outlaws face!

"... I swear to God, that stupid, handsome wounded duck bullshit is NOT gonna work on me this time! This is a new level of dumbass even for -you-, buddy. I just .. I -can't- ..." Foggy sinks close enough that they are pressed the barest bit together and despite the obvious anger, the action is both intimate and fond.

"Foggy, I'm sorry. So --"Brett takes a stumbling step forward and the Devil's head snaps up. In the next moment, the Devil is between Foggy and the alley entrance and Brett scurries away.

He does NOT have the brainpower to handle this right now!!

* * *

Brett truly hates early evening shifts. He always feels lethargic just as the Sun starts setting.

He wonders if he can get away with faking phone trouble so he can end this call with his Mom. It wouldn't be the first time he made such an escape. He loves her dearly but sometimes enough is enough.

"Yes, Mom .. Foggy is fine ... no, he hasn't sent any packages for you ... I'm sure him and Matt are going strong as ever." He carefully mimes a gun with his free hand then proceeds to fake blowing his brains out because he really does -not- want to picture Foggy and Matt's relationship.  
Truth be told, he's nowhere near as thrilled about the 'epic love' of those two as his Mom and the Nelson clan are. There's something dark and secretive about Matt Murdock that rubs Brett the wrong way. Matt ain't good enough for Foggy and he's pretty sure the kid is gonna learn that the hard, painful way. Just because Murdock managed to imprint on Mama and the Nelsons like some kinda lost duckling doesn't mean he has to like the guy.

Duckling. Huh. Hadn't Foggy called the Devil a wounded duck or something? Before he can pull that odd thread of thought, he winces at the sound on the other end of the phone.

"Yes, Mom, I swear I'm listening, I just ... hang on..." He yanks the phone away from his ear so that he can crank up the volume on dispatch. Once he hits back with an affirmative, he shoves his squad car into drive. "I gotta go. Love you Mama!" he barely has time to hit end call before he tosses the phone into the passenger seat and takes off in the direction of the bank robbery in progress.

Of -course- he would arrive at the bank to find that The Devil has already saved the day. And -OF COURSE- he'd walk into the bank, weapon drawn, to find Foggy standing in the middle of five passed out thugs and two dozen hostages.

Foggy, who is standing toe-to-toe with The Devil. While the vigilante is shaking as he desperately pats Foggy down for signs of injury.

"God ... Foggy ... I..I ..." The little bit he can see of the Devil's face beneath his weird black mask seems almost deathly pale despite the stubble.

"Its okay, dude. You got here just in time. I'm fine. We're all -fine-." Foggy had adopted the same soft, coaxing voice he used to use when he tried to bring stray pets home. Or the one he used to calm Murdock when he got too spooked during the holidays when the entire Nelson clan descended on Hell's Kitchen, spreading fear and cheer in their wake. Huh, guess dealing with Murdock all these years at least taught Foggy -something- useful.

"But I almost -didn't-, Foggy. Those bastards had you at -gunpoint-! And you!! What the hell made you think antagonizing armed robbers was a good idea?!" For a moment, it seems like those assessing hands are going to grab hold of Foggy and shake him. Good, keeps Brett from having to do the job himself.

"It was a VERY good idea, asshole! As long as they had their guns on me, everyone else was safe!" Brett suddenly wishes there was some way to break Foggy open and rewire the part of him that seems to think his actions were the -logical- choice! He doesn't have a gun like Brett or ninja moves like the Devil to protect himself, but he still puts it all on the line. Sometimes he really hates this kid. 

"NO!!" The Devil snarls the word and it is so feral and raw, so desperate that Brett thinks he can feel the tattoo of the sound against his own heart. "You do not get to be anything but safe and sound Foggy, or so help me --!" The words cut off in a strangled sound of hysteria and he almost feels sorry for the vigilante. Almost. After all, he's got decades of worry under his belt and knows just how hard it can be trying to save Foggy from himself. 

"God help me for saying this, but I actually agree with the Devil on this one, Franklin. Oh, and I'm tellin' Mama." He gets some odd little kernel of satisfaction from the way Foggy jumps, squeaks, and flails like a moron at the sound of his voice. 

The Devil, on the other hand, repeats his action from the alley. He immediately moves himself in front of Foggy like some human shield and actually has the gall to GROWL at Brett, as if HE could somehow be a threat to him.

"NoOOO! Just a whole lotta NO to that, man. If you open your mouth to Bess I am regurgitating every secret of yours I have, Brett. And trust me, there is a whole file of them!" That threat .... in no way surprises him. He is also more than sure that the kid is telling the truth about it. "And you! Stop growling at my frenemy like a rabid beast! You know he means no harm."

"Seriously? No harm? I might shoot you just for using the word frenemy, Nelson." Probably not his finest moment, popping off about hurting someone when they are being guarded by a particularly wild, savage animal, but whatever. His head is spinning and he's pretty sure he now has intimate knowledge of what it feels like to spiral out of control down the rabbit hole. What's the harm in poking the Devil with a stick?

"Brett! Not helping, you idiot!" He watches as Foggy reaches out to lace a steady hand around a deadly bicep and what the hell!? Apparently Foggy is the Devil Whisperer because the vigilante calms instantly. "And you. It's time for all good little vigilantes to get the hell out of here. Don't -argue- with me, just do it!" Foggy shoves the Devil toward the back and he's long gone before Brett even remembers he has his gun in his hand. He shoves it back in to his holster before turning his angry eyes on Foggy.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't arrest you for aiding and abetting and then shoot you for good measure!!" It's only as he snarls these words, a sudden excess of adrenaline and latent fear sharpening his tongue, that he realizes Foggy doesn't look that good.

He's pale but his cheeks are red at the same time. There's sweat beaded across his face and his eyes are a little out of focus.

"Can we just not right now, Brett? You can go back to hating me tomorrow, man, but I'm just really not up for this bullshit right now." Before he can think of anything to say, more cops come bursting in and with a sigh, Brett gets to work taking witness statements. Though he makes sure he doesn't take Foggys. The least he can do is steer clear after those words.

* * *

It's a testament to just how deep Foggy has gotten under his skin that Brett is STILL thinking about the frenemy and hate comments three weeks after the incident. He knows that he should break down and call the idiot. Not to apologize or anything, just to check up on him, make sure he's doing okay.

Not that he -needs- to or anything. Not since Foggy apparently got his own pet Vigilante. With The Devil of Hell's Kitchen watching out for him and apparently coming VERY close to losing it over the chance of him getting hurt ... well, Brett must really just pale in comparison.

..........

..........

..........

Son of a bitch, he's jealous of a masked wacko in black spandex!! How the HELL is this his life!?

* * *

He glares down at his phone, staring at the screen that reads Mama and wishing he was a slightly braver man so that he could answer her. It's been a full five weeks since the bank robbery and Brett has been flying under a strange sort of radio silence. He goes to work, returns home, goes back to work. He doesn't socialize or answer calls unless they are work related. Even -Murdock- had called a few times and that's just ... odd. 

He sighs heavily as the phone finally goes silent and isn't that surprised when no voicemail has been left. His Mom can only bitch him out so many times before even she has to give up.

He shoves his mobile back into his pocket and breathes slowly. His world has tipped oddly on it's axis since the Devil came to the Kitchen. Where he had once had a firm belief that Vigilantes were by and large more destroyer than saviour, he has been forced to rethink his stance as of late.

He refuses to entertain the thought that the only reason he suddenly wants to give the Devil a small sliver of the benefit of the doubt, is becaue Foggy knows him. Yes, Foggy tends to be a pretty good judge of character, if not a little naive at times and he seems to trust the Devil, which is a phrase his lapsed spiritual side has trouble swallowing. 

But still, that does -not- mean he is giving the Devil a second chance because of Foggy.

Just no.

He glances from side to side, making sure no vehicle is coming before he crosses the street with a groan.

Truthfully, he really doesn't want to be out right now. He wants nothing more than to be curled up in bed watching junk TV, but the apartment was empty of anything really edible and he wants some junk food to go right along with that junk TV. 

"Foggy." 

What.

The.

Hell.

The raspy, gravel sound of the Devil draws his attention instantly. He almost casually wonders if he killed a wagon load of orphans in a past life or something. 

Because that is the ONLY reason he can come up for why God is punishing him. Definitely need to hit up Church this Sunday. 

"I'm not listening." The usual petulant notes of Foggy's voice are strained and tired and Brett is horrified to realize that he kinda wants to march into the alley and give Foggy a big hug before marching him home and tucking him in so that he can get some obviously much needed sleep. Maybe even make some of Mama's homemade hot chocolate for him. Surely that would cheer him up and also relax him enough he could get some decent sleep. 

What the hell has Matt been doing that he's not taking care of Foggy? He has half a mind to give that asshole half his mind .. wait. That's not right. Whatever. Matt should just be taking better care of Foggy, damnit!

"Come on, Foggy. We've been through too much for you to break up with me now." It's surreal and just too much to hear the DEVIL making a playful, sweet quip. 

"Now is -not- the time for jokes, jerkface. No, you know what? Not even jerkface! You are an assbutt! Ass. Butt." The way Foggy emphasizes both words like each is a sentence all its own makes him want to laugh hysterically. Partially because It's so stupid and partially because it's just so Foggy.

"... if you ever try to watch another episode of Supernatural, I'm cancelling Netflix and destroying your laptop, I don't care how hot Dean and Castiel are." That's just so .. so Damn -domestic-. I mean sure, there had to be a person under that Vigilante garb, but it's hard to remember that means friends and loved ones.

It makes a part of Brett ache but he igornes it quick enough.

"Aww come on, you can't do that! If you get rid of Netflix, how are we going to watch that Vigilante angst fest with the hot, broody hero and his gorgeous, funny best friend? You are -just- as addicted to that show as I am!" 

Yeah, hearing that a Vigilante watches a show about a Vigilante is entering a level of surreal meta-ness that makes Brett's head hurt.

Oh wait, that might just be the sappiness of this entire domestic conversation. And why the hell can't Foggy and the Devil argue indoors like most people?? 

"You have absolutely no evidence to support such slander." Brett begins to hold his breath when the Devil reaches out and carefully drapes his arms over Foggy's shoulders, so that he's leaned against his front. Allowing Foggy to hold him up. 

It's so unbelievably cute. 

Brett wants to sink into the sidewalk. 

"So. How about I meet you back at your place when I'm done. We'll make popcorn and binge a few episodes of angsty vigilante and gorgeous sidekick." Now he just wants to be sick.

" ..fine. You do not play fair. I'll see you in a bit." He's surprised when the two hug rather than kiss, but is also grateful. It's bad enough to have proof that Foggy is cheating on Matt, and honestly, he though Foggy was better than that, but seeing Foggy kiss a Vigilante would probably cause him permanent brain damage. 

He turns and walks back the way he came, suddenly not in the mood for junk food and TV. He's not sulking. He's just suddenly very, very tired. Because he does NOT want to spend his day off tomorrow doing what he's got to do.

* * *

He doesn't slow down.  Doesn't give himself a single moment to second guess. He bursts in to the office of Nelson & Murdock, lips peeled back in a half growl. He is -NOT- a happy camper!

Matt and Foggy are standing in the middle of the main room, Matt's arm slunk around Foggy's shoulders. A pretty strawberry blond woman is arguing with a copier. All three turn toward him when he enters.

"Franklin Percy Nelson!!" He bites each name out, wincing vaguely when they pop like gunshots all around him. Foggy has gone completely still and huh ... Matt has managed to maneuver them so that he's shielding Foggy without letting him go. The woman is staring with large, slightly watery eyes.

"Damn it, Brett! Why you gotta bust out with the full name, man?! It's bad enough when Auntie does it!" Wow. He must have really caught Foggy off guard. He very rarely refers to Bess Mahoney as Auntie unless only family are around. He's never understood why that was.

"Becuse this is a full name moment, Franklin! Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't haul your ass down to Mama and let her whip the sass right out of you when she finds out that you're cheating on Murdock!"  
Matt's eyes go wide behind his glasses and Brett does not care. Not really. He still thinks Murdock is all wrong for Foggy. The only reason he is here is because the only person worse for Foggy than Matthew Murdock is The Devil of Hell's Kitchen. 

And probably The Hulk. But the chances of that are so slim that it doesn't matter. There is zero chance of the Hulk putting Foggy in danger. The Devil is another thing altogether.

"Foggy! You're cheating on me?" Matt's voice is soft and surprisingly playful and what the hell??

**Foggy** is cheating on him, he's probably going to lose him!! Matt should be scared and angry, NOT playful! If Brett thought some Vigilante asshole was trying to take Foggy out of his life he'd probably be trying to kick the jerks ass. Not struggling to hold in giggles.

"What? No, of course not, Matt! You are my one and only avocado!" Foggy snickers as Matt giggles again and Brett is quickly getting fed up.

"Damn it, this is NOT funny, you two. Look, I hate to break it to you, Murdock, but Foggy is cheating on you. With the Devil if Hell's Kitchen. I keep running into the idiots flirting in back alleys and making dates to watch stupid Vigilante TV shows." The blong gasps, hand pressed to her mouth in surprise. Meanwhile, Foggy and Murdock both seem to be choking on thin air.

"Wait! You actually think there's something for Foggy to be cheating on? With the -Devil- of all people?" Murdock seems so very lost and a part of Brett that is a little too much like Foggy kinda wants to make a blind joke.

"Seriously, Brett? You think if I -ever- had a chance with Matty, I would -cheat- on him? Screw you, man!" The room goes eerily silent save the breathing of everyone. Murdock's eyes are impossibly large behind his tinted shades.

"F-Fog .. you .. what do you mean ... if you ever had a chance?" There is an odd strain in Matt's voice. Brett had never heard it before and he's not sure he likes it. It makes Murdock sound too vulnerable and that is just a strange state for the overconfident man.

"Matty ... I ..." Foggy's throat clicks and yet it's Matt that makes a pained sound. As if he can somehow sense what Foggy is going through. Foggy takes a deep, careful breath before he drops his head forward, effectively cutting himself off from everyone "I'm in love with you, Matthew Murdock." 

Wait.

What?? 

This should not be spoken like a revelation. Like a first time. These two morons have been together so long that these words should be well worn and familiar.. Brett feels a strange sense of dread settling in his stomach.

"F-Foggy ..." Matt's arm removes itself from Foggy's shoulder so quickly that Bretts head spins a little. Foggy flinches at the action only to gasp in surprise when Matt frames his face with shaking hands. 

"Franklin Nelson ... I've been in love with you for years. All the chances, Foggy. You have ALL the chances, I swear to God!" In the next moment, the two men are kissing desperately and Brett maybe wants to cry a little. Because apparently, he is now the -cause- of Murdock getting Foggy and nope. Just nope the nope because this is too much.

"I give up ." He hisses the words with all the bite of an enraged cat and turns to stalk out of the office. "I hope you two and the Devil are happy together!" 

One last parting shot before he heads home to lick his metaphorical wounds and hope to God that he is wrong about the massive revelation nipping at the edge of his mind; no one would ever be good enough for Foggy Nelson because none of them would be him.

How is this his life??

**Fin**


End file.
